Live Long and Prosper

I watched Star Trek with Sara the other night. Why isn't Star Fleet real? I would totally enlist. And with my anticipated B.A. in International Studies, I would be completely in sync with their "peace-keeping armada." Besides, I've heard that the Laurentian System is quite beautiful this time of year.



AHHH IT'S STARTED.

Like I said in the last post, I can still remember getting here like it was yesterday. It feels like I haven't been here long, but then I think of all of the excursions and trips I've taken and tests I've taken and it's kind of surprising. I did go through some pretty hard acculturative stress that I honestly haven't gotten over, but I've made some great friends, had some interesting experiences, and have had a lot of time to think. My French has gotten better, which is obvious when one lives in another country for an extended period of time. I've eaten amazing food, and have gotten used to saying "meet me by the castle" and "we're eating in front of the cathedral." I've been to a wine tasting, I've paid my respects to American soldiers in Normandy (Memorial Day came early for me, ha), and climbed to the top of one of the most famous monastaries in Europe. I've dealt with train strikes and volcanoes, and I've soaked up the sun in the South of France and lake-side in Angers. I've made stupid mistakes, and had a few drinks too many here and there. I haven't done nearly enough shopping, but I've eaten more than enough food. I didn't do as much traveling as I had hoped, but I saved more money than I had expected. I've found that I'm obsessed with Granny Smith apples and that I actually don't like pasta all that much. Even though the peanut butter doesn't taste the same, Nutella is a pretty good substitute. I've eaten way too much chocolate and not enough crepes, too much yogurt and not enough ratatouille. I haven't made french friends, but I met some pretty cool international students and I'm planning on keeping in touch.

But now it's time to leave. And apparently Mary Poppins left her never-ending carpetbag in my room because my little suitcase can fit a lot more than I expected. Hopefully I can say the same for my larger suitcase, because Inga bought some cherry liqueur that I'd really like to pick up, and H&M has some awesome tank tops that I want to snag on my way out. I've already talked in my first Paris post that I've been fairly underwhelmed with French fashion, but H&M and Zara never fail me.

It's been really therepeutic to finish exams and come back to the foyer and recycle all the class papers and textbooks that I'm not taking back home. I ditched both exercise books today. Ahhhh. I'm 2/3 of the way through with exams...just two left. I can't wait to be done. We're having a wine and cheese to celebrate on Thursday afternoon.

So now I'm starting to clear up my room and I'm pulling stuff off my walls and so on. My shelves look empty and my walls are looking bare again. It's weird to not have my map up. It's looking more generic here now, like how it was when I got here. I forgot it looked this depressing without my collages and maps and photos. I have all of this food though. And some stuff I don't know how to get rid of. I think I'm going to hide some of this stuff like mini surprise gifts for the nuns. Like my lamp. I'll leave it in the cleaning closet. And my blanket that I got from Casa (where I saw the cah-yutest elephant teapot today) I'll just tuck in with my other blankets. And the food I may just leave in the kitchen cabinets. Bon appetit, les filles! I bet that old nun who didn't know I wasn't French will hear me rummaging and will creep up on me again. She's got amazing ears. I don't even know where she comes from, but all of a sudden she just pops up in the kitchen and shifts towels and trashcans around while talking to us in indiscernable spanish-french. She's like the kitchen fairy. I think I'll miss her.

Trying to get my luggage to the airport will be interesting.

I can't wait to buy my first legal drink in USA. I wonder if I can buy an American flag in Houston. Or one of those stickers for my face. And I want to wander around WalMart at 2 AM on Sunday. And not have hooligans yelling in the street at midnight on a weeknight.

Knowing how many hours I have to travel is intimidating. Whatever. It's worth it. I'm taking my eye mask and I'm going to attempt to sleep a bit. Gaga's Alejandro video comes out Monday, and the Glee finale is Tuesday. It's like America is welcoming me home. It's a sign.

I just hope that the Powers that Be realize that I've been dealing with train strikes and volcanoes and ice storms anytime I've ever had to go ANYWHERE and will let me get on my plane and off the ground at the scheduled time.

Blah blah blah no title here.

I really can't believe how fast this semester has flown by. I'm down to three pages in my planner before my flight on June 6. Scary! (I'm also almost done with my journal. I had to buy another one last week.) I took a test today in one of my Socio-Cultural Studies class, and my final is just three Saturdays from now! (Yes, a final on a Saturday. I don't get it either.) It's kind of weird, getting my final exam schedule and having all of my teachers start talking about it, but I guess it's getting me in the zone. Meaning I'm stressing out some. (a lot.) Sara says I need to find something else to worry about.

On the one hand, I feel like I've just gotten here. I remember almost falling asleep on the train, I remember getting to the foyer and being locked out, and being just awkwardly new here for like a week. But on the other hand, I feel like I've been here forever. I think about all the stuff I've done, like the excursions, and all the material I've covered in my classes, and I realize that yes, I have been here for three months already, and the time to go home is coming up, possibly a bit quicker than I'm ready for. Just thinking about studying for the history final makes me want to curl up into a ball and sleep.

My classes haven't been "hard" in the typical sense, but there's definitely an added layer of confusion and twistiness when it's all in another language. I'm not studying the French Revolution, I'm studying la Révolution française. And France doesn't have a National Assembly, it has une Assemblée nationale. And those are the easy translations. Plus, in the time period we've covered in history class, France has had a few monarchies, a few revolutions (1789, 1830, 1848), two empires, and five Republics. I'm going to have to make the biggest timeline ever... But yeah, it's like that with all my classes, the whole language thing. But it's getting a lot easier. I haven't started thinking in French yet and English is still the first thing that wants to spill out of my mouth (I say "thank you" way too much around here) but I can at least correct myself and write out complete sentences without having to erase something. It's the little things in life.

I'm leaving for Strasbourg tomorrow morning with Inga and Becca for just a few days. It's supposed to be raining the whole time; wonderful. It's my last travel of the semester, so I hope it's worth it! I was supposed to go to Cinque Terre, but all of the trains were full, so we had to cancel our reservations. I certainly thought I would have been able to travel more than I have, but it's really, really surprising how expensive it it. We also didn't get a lot of breaks, so I would have spent the money if I could have visited a city for more than a day and a half. However I have gone on some spectacular excursions to places that I wouldn't have been able to get to by train, and I've been able to stay pretty sane. I can't deal with lack of sleep due to traveling. I've saved a lot of money, too, so I won't be broke when I come back, and I'll be able to save for a car/an apartment after college/etc.

So, yeah, I have almost exactly 25 days left! That looks like such a big number to me, but it's really not. I changed my flight so that I fly into Jackson instead of Memphis, and I'll be stuffing my face with Jerry's Catfish the day I get back. I can't wait. I can't wait to bake and cook. I keep having dreams about Kitchen Aid Mixers.

Sidenote: it's amazing how much chocolate they have here. I really don't even eat that many sweets at home, so I'm going to have to kick this habit in the bud ASAP starting June 7, but Monoprix literally has an aisle dedicated to chocolate. Not one side of an aisle, but TWO sides. Chocolate. Everywhere. It's a cross between a dream come true and type 2 diabetes waiting to happen. I just bought a three pack of milk chocolate bars because I know that I'm going to want them Sunday when I get home from Strasbourg and everything is closed. It's going to be weird to like, be able to get milk and eggs on Sundays when I get back to the States.

And driving. I might need to borrow my neighbor's kid's toy jeep to practice for a few days before I trust myself with the Sebring. That, and I broke my rosary that I hung from the rearview mirror that had been blessed by the archbishop of Rome, so Jesus won't be protecting my travels anymore. I curse the hastiness in which I tried to move it from my car to mom's before my trip to VA. I've never been so nervous driving in my life. Haste makes waste.

Also my bed is going to be really, really tall. French beds are obscenely low--like, the top of the mattress hits the middle of my calves--and my bed at home is obscenely high. The top of the mattress is at my hip and I've gotten pretty used to having to hop a bit to get up into it. And I've been using this crappy roll pillow because I never got around to getting a normal one, so my firm, square pillows are going to be awkwardly large but divine.

Saw my baby boy on skype last night, and I can't wait to cuddle up with him for a week straight. I can't wait to take him to school with me too! Such an interesting mix between a guard dog and a teddy bear.

Like I said, it's the little things.

As much as I'm having conflicted feelings about leaving France, nothing is going to compare to hearing that the plane is beginning it's final descent. I may kiss the ground. And buy an American flag and wear it around my shoulders like a cape. It'll be good to be home.

It's halftime, y'all.

I've been living in France for two months now and I have two months left to go until I go back to the States. On one hand, I think "wow, two more months!!" because the first two seemed to drag on for a while. But then I realize that when I come back from spring break, I'll only have a month left! The time is really going to fly by. Four months really does seem like the best amount of time for me to be here--I kind of wonder: If I didn't have all this stuff laid out for me to do when I get back (camp, My First Place(tm), and senior year), would I want to stay longer?

The weeks tend to fly by faster than I realize. Like, it's wednesday already! Given, I had a test yesterday and one today, but still. All of a sudden I look around and it's wednesday or thursday. I have a paper (short and handwritten, and on history, thank goodness) due on tuesday and a short oral presentation on wednesday, and I hope to get those knocked out on sunday or monday, which we have off.

MI MADRE IS COMING. I would just like to repeat this for anybody who didn't know about it yet. She's coming, I'm going to snuggle up to her the first night like a chick to a mother hen, and we're going to eat all of the bread and cheese in Paris. And then we're going to Aix, where I will continually freak out about being in the same city that Cezanne lived in, and where we will eat so much bruschetta and other Fritalian dishes. She'll be here just past half-way through the semester, so I'll get a little bit of a fresh breeze from home. Then I'll just have, what, five weeks of classes? Interspersed with two more breaks (thank God for catholic countries) and then before I know it I'll be packing up my little room and heading for Paris.

There's a new nun at the foyer and I don't think I like her. I want to know where my little white haired nun went! This one accosted me and Sara on our way out of the kitchen on a sunday after I had gone in to grab my knife, fork, and spoons from where I had forgotten them while washing dishes. I was wearing flannel pajama pants(because it was Sunday and I like to relax on the weekends) and she made some crazy face and was like "did you just come from cooking?" But, like the other nuns, she's from Spain and her accent was kind of thick, so from there on out I basically didn't understand what she was saying. And so I was like "oh, no, I had just left these in there earlier..." and she said something else that I think was somthing along the lines of "oh, I thought that you had been cooking in that," referring to my pants. It was kind of weird. Yes, I cook in comfy clothes. And what are you even doing here on a Sunday? You nuns are never here on the weekends--hence me cooking in flannel pants. I'm pretty sure she's the one that moved all of the dishes back into the locked cabinet, which annoys me because the other nuns were like "oooh the weekends you can use these dishes under here!" Hm. This is sketchy to me. She was also kind of harassing this girl at dinner last night too: handing her an envelope and then circling back around TWICE to be like "you need to take care of this" in a really serious ominous voice. I'm surprised the girl wasn't like "look. I will. But right now I'm enjoying my mashed potatoes." She clearly wasn't as fed up as I was.

I want my cute nun back: the one that laughs and is like "ahhhh the americans!" and then doesn't say anything else, or if she does I can just laugh and smile and say "oui, oui!"

On the upside, we're having potage (a smooth, creamy vegetable soup) as our appetizer tonight. Nothing can get me down on a potage night.

Some lists for you all:

Things I will miss
-Walking everywhere. 1) Because I strongly believe that it keeps me in shape here and 2) because it's nice to not have to pay for gas, or take the bus, or ride a bike.
-French specific cuisine. I'm talking about galettes, croque madames and monsieurs, and moule-frites. Yes, I can make these things at home, but I'll miss ordering it at a restaurant, or being able to buy them pre-made at the store.
-Trains. They're easy, cheap(er than a flight), and kind of fun. I don't have to check baggage, and the scenery is pretty nice.
-French notebook paper, which is basically graph paper. I like being neat, so I think I'll miss being able to perfectly indent my notes.
-The architecture. I've come to the conclution that I love French history, but not daily life (for other things that will make up a very sarcastic--not whiny!--blog post later this week), and for this reason I LOVE the architecture. I love looking out my classroom window and seeing the cathedrals, walking by the chateau, and just walking down the street and realizing that we don't have this kind of architecture in Mississippi. The white stone and the iron railings of the 19th and 20th centuries all the way back to the earth-and-wood buildings of the Middle Ages. It's amazing.
-The church bells. While they annoy me at 10:00 on a sunday morning while I'm trying to sleep, the bells have been great. They let me know what time it is as they go off every 15 minutes during the day and they're nice background noise. And I've gotten USED to them, as in, I think it's going to be weird to NOT have church bells. I think every time that the bells ring at the chapel on campus, I'll feel a bit nostalgic. I know that there are some bells in Oxford (oh, they just went off right now! It's 1:30 PM right now. Ding, dong.) but just...not like here.
-The people I've met. I've met some pretty cool people at CIDEF and I hope we stay in contact. To be honest, I haven't had the kind of connection with them like I had with the girls from 2008 (who I still talk to regularly) but they're not bad. I kid, I kid. We're going to go eat at a restaurant tomorrow that only makes soufflés. YES!
-The nuns (for the most part). They're cute--except for that new one--and I want to write a little card for them when I leave. They've been so accomodating and understanding that I have NO IDEA what they are saying most of the time, and they're always like "ahhh did you sleep well?" Adorbs. Plus I'll always be able to enjoy the look on people's face when I tell them I've lived with nuns.
-All of the cheese flavors. Notice that I did not say "types." Because let me tell you something: I thought all cheeses were made the same way here. Meaning for all of the normans who make camembert, the cheese ends up tasting the same. (Fun fact: Apparently it's not "real" camembert if it's not made in Normandy, which is weird to me. What is it called, then? It's kind of like that riddle: if a tree falls in a forest and nobody hears it, does it make a noise?) But no--we are not in the land of Kraft. Every single camembert I've tasted, which is about five brands now, tastes different, has a different consistency, and different rind texture. The one that the nuns serve is drier and blander, while the one that I've picked as my favorite is soft, creamy, with an almost crumply rind and a nice nutty flavor. And that's just for ONE type of cheese. There are also Tommes, Brie, Gruyère, etc. The same with the bread: no two boulangeries produce exactly the same baguette, and the differences aren't subtle at all. I've had some amazing baguettes and some crappy baguettes, which I didn't think was possible.
-The bikes that the postmen ride. I need to take a picture eventually because they really are cute/cool/funny. They have the Hulk of kickstands too.
-The mama's walking their babies around in strollers covered in clear plastic. I just feel like they're saran-wrapping their babies, but I love it. They clearly don't want them getting wet/cold. Frenchies really do take their babies everywhere, too, and there are a LOT of babies and strollers around.

Things I can't wait for
-The food from home. Omigod, the food. I'm talking, like, a serious BBQ sandwich with potato salad and baked beans. Cobbler. Ribs. Chicken breast marinated in Italian dressing and grilled. Mom's chocolate chip cookies. Banana bread with chopped pecans. French toast (which doesn't seem to exist in France). Sausage and really crispy bacon. Overeasy eggs. Buscuits and molassas. Chicken salad. Ham and pea pasta. REAL steak. Pot Roast, brisket, pork chops. Greasy american pizza. Junior whoppers with cheese but no onions. American-style chinese food. I'm literally drooling all over my keyboard right now. (The bells just went off again...1:45!)
-Drip coffee. Yes this gets it's own hyphen. 8 o'Clock Coffee Columbian blend with two sweet n'lows and a generous splash of Land o'Lakes Fat-Free half and half. If you have never tried this coffee + this half and half, do it. Next time you go out to the store, try it. It's amazing. You can thank me later.
-Being able to understand people when they talk to me. I am getting better at inadvertantly eavesdropping because I can understand French for the most part (when I first got here I had to translate sooo much in my head and it's more second nature for me now) but I'm ready to go to a restaurant and understand what a waiter is saying to me. Subpoint: I'm ready to be able to understand people the FIRST time they talk to me, without me saying "excuse me? I didn't get that."
-Cars. I might need driving lessons when I get back though. I might just need to take a few practice laps around the neighborhood to get my sealegs back.

What I'll find/am finding really bizarre
-Not hearing chinese all the time. It's kind of becoming background noise already. I thought the other day, "wow it's going to be weird not hearing this all the time." There are a LOT of chinese students here.
-Some french words are a lot easier to say than english words. "La couverte" comes off the tongue so much easier than "the silverware." I already talk english with some French thrown in because either a) I've forgotten the english word at that moment or b) it's easier to say. "Tu rentre chez-toi?" is faster than "are you going back to your house?" and here the french version actually makes more sense because "chez" means just like, where you are staying, where you rest, while the American version of "home/house" has more of a connotation of actual ownership. So for the students staying with a family, "chez-toi/moi/lui/elle/etc" is more correct, because they just sleep and eat there, instead of owning their place. So, voilà, a little french lesson. (you also go "chez le dentiste," not "au dentiste" because you're going to see the DENTIST, not his office, but you do go "à la patisserie" because you're going to the store, not the patissier. The more you know.)

I have to get ready to go to class now, but I'll be back later to write about Normandy and other stuff I forgot to talk about. Bye!

Okay, this is my whiny post. Read at your own caution.

This is going to be pretty stream-of-consciousness with no real rhyme or reason. Pleave forgive any whiplash-inducing topic changes.

and no caps from here on out, because additional finger movements are superfluous at 10:00 pm. plus for some reason i like the way the font looks with no caps. i feel like it all flows better without interuptions. somewhere, my english teachers of yesteryear are crying.

went to paris this past weekend with sara and margaux and stayed at margaux's house which is in Massy, a suburb of paris. her family was really nice, and there's an exchange student living there named walter. he's colombian and iranian and for some reason he ended up being named walter. this will never, ever get old or any less hilarious. we went out friday night, it was pretty cool. the two other times i've been there i didn't go out so it was interesting to see the city at night. The next day we got up to go shopping and spent all day wandering around. however i was rather unimpressed with parisian shopping, to be honest. i kind of wonder if it was just the area we were in -- le marais. it may just have a general style, but then again we stopped in other stores and it was basically just a massive repetition of the same style. i did come out with an old, olive military jacket that i have to definitely wash because it smells like a vintage shop but i think it'll be cute once i finish working on it. and that's about it for paris, actually. i looked for a purse--couldn't find one i liked; looked around for other stuff, too. i'm excited for my mom to come with me so we can do touristy things. ahhhh architecture and museums!

ugh i'm such a nerd i can't even handle it sometimes.

speaking of, i've been working on my schedule for this next semester and i think it's going to work out pretty well. it looks like i'll end up taking 18 hours + thesis. i have to choose between INST 203 and FR 331 at some point, which is kind of scary because they're both required by my respective majors. great planning there, y'all. and i think i'm going to take that intro to american law class? just because if i'm going to swear off law school definitively and say i never, ever want to be a lawyer, i'd better know exactly why. although knowing me i'll fall in love and go to law school and be a paper pusher for the rest of my life.

i've been in a weird mood lately. i think i'm at the bottom of that inverted bell curve we learned about in predeparture. (for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about, it's basically a way of analyzing culture shock/homesickness.) last night i told sara that if i could go home right now, i would, and it's only slightly less true today. it's really hard to like, put into words, and i know that is annoying because i just sound like a whiner. but really i just want to be in my own bed and watch 24 straight hours of tv, even if it's qvc or something, and to bake and take a bath and drink drip coffee and not have to constantly translate in my head. i miss the quiet. living in a city is loud and i live right off a busy street. i want to not have to ask people to repeat things 5 times, or worse, have someone re-explain something three times and STILL not understand the words that are coming out of their mouths. i miss the american way of doing things. i miss that publics works projects actually get done in a timely manner in america. and i feel like i wear the same thing all the time...because i DO. the totality of my clothing takes up two shelves and a couple of wire hangers, plus one drawer for underwear. and i have four pairs of shoes, one of which is too small and another which is too big. this is literally the longest i've ever been away from my house, too, which i'm sure is playing a role. The five weeks i spent here in angers in 2008 was the longest before this.

it got a lot better today, though. i skipped my afternoon classes and went for a long walk and that helped. i got some sunlight which i'm sure kickstarted my serotonin and the exercise probably gave me some endorphins. ("exercise gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy. happy people just don't kill their husbands.") and then today i worked at the USA table for international day and danced some to the cha cha slide and cupid shuffle. i attempted to do the soulja boy dance but just kind of embarrassed myself so i went back to sneaking peanut butter and jelly squares.

i need to go walking/running more. it felt really good.

i love my grammar professor. she actually explains things and they make sense to me. i feel like i learned more about how the french language actually WORKS in our one hour of class today than i've learned in two or three weeks. and it's NOT that complicated...it seriously made me so happy. because in the end, i want to be speaking correct french, not just throwing together whatever sounds right. my langue professor is kind of the same way, but is less clear in her explanations. i dunno. i understand that she's telling me something, but i guess i don't get the way she explains it. but i can tell now from her body language when she stands over my shoulder that she's about to correct something i've written. i've started just saying, "okay, qu'est-ce que j'ai fait cette fois? (what did i do this time?)" and she always snicker-laughs and points it out. but she's always nice about it and i feel like i can ask questions and stuff even though half the time i have to look up explanations in english.

i got a 16.5 out of 20 on my History test. yesssss. in France, that's a really good grade. at the bottom of one of my mini essays, she wrote that my essay was very satisfying. and i had a lot of "TB"s in the margins, which stand for "très bien = very good." i seriously love it when i get good grades and i feel like my teachers are kind of proud of me. again: i'm such a nerd. and a teacher's pet.

what else? i guess i'm going shopping this week/weekend. and i'm going to normandy on saturday, so i'll try to put up pictures next week. i have to be at the university at 6:00 in the morning. i'll be sleeping all day friday in preparation. we have three weeks until spring break, and i cannot wait. and after spring break there's only a month left of classes. i can't decide how i feel. i don't want to be weird and bitter and count down the days, but i'm kind of counting down the days.

please, france, i want to be in love with you again. i promise to come out of my funk soon.

i think i'm just thinking about stuff too much. i'm second guessing a lot of my life choices i've already made and trying to think about what's in the future, and i wish i could be in a familiar enviornment while i think about everything. but alas, i'm abroad in a country whose language continues to baffle and confuse me.

i need to buy some more chocolate tomorrow.

Dear Mom:

You'd better start getting ready for this:




And just to prepare you a little bit, because things are generally, shall we say, "looser" in France:



I can't wait to see you! It's less than three weeks away!